Sometimes someone books a session and I can tell within the first few minutes of the intake conversation that they’re looking for something I don’t offer. They want to drift off. They want to fall asleep on the table, have someone work on them gently for an hour, and wake up feeling peaceful. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s just not what I do. And the most honest thing I can say is: this might not be the right fit.
What I actually offer
My work is therapeutic. It’s focused. It’s collaborative. When you come in for a session, you’re an active participant — I’m asking you to pay attention, to tell me what you feel, to notice what’s changing. I have clinical goals for the session that I’ve developed based on what I see in your body, and I’m working with purpose toward those goals. The pressure is real. The technique is specific. And when the session is over, I’m going to ask you what’s different.
That’s not everyone’s idea of a good time. Some people want quiet and warmth and soft music and the feeling of being taken care of without having to think about anything. Those are real needs. They deserve to be met. They’re just not needs I specialize in meeting.
Why I say something instead of just going along with it
It would be easy to take the appointment, adjust my pressure, keep things gentle, and let someone doze through the hour. I’d get paid the same. They’d leave feeling relaxed. Nobody would complain.
But that’s not the deal. The deal is that when you come to me, you get the best version of what I do. And the best version of what I do requires your participation. If what you’re looking for is passive, you’ll be better served by someone whose practice is built around that kind of work. There are excellent therapists in Boston who do that work beautifully. I’m not one of them, and pretending I am doesn’t help either of us.
I’d rather lose a booking than deliver a session where neither of us gets what we’re looking for. That’s not a business decision. That’s a values decision. If the work isn’t honest, it isn’t the work.
How the conversation actually goes
This isn’t a confrontation. It’s a redirect. When someone describes wanting a relaxation-focused session, I tell them directly: that’s not really what my practice is built around. Nothing in my online presence suggests relaxation massage — my site, my reviews, my descriptions all point toward therapeutic work. So when someone arrives expecting something different, it’s usually because they found me through a booking platform or a general search and didn’t dig into the details.
I explain what I do offer. I explain what a typical session with me looks like. And then I let them decide. Sometimes they say, “Actually, that sounds like exactly what I need — I just didn’t know how to describe it.” And we have a great session. Sometimes they realize they want something else, and I’m glad we figured that out before they spent an hour in a session that wasn’t what they were looking for.
Why it matters to say it up front
Early on, I would have tried to be everything to everyone. You learn fast that it doesn’t work. The clients who stay, the ones who get results, the ones who refer their friends — they’re the ones who came in looking for exactly what I offer. They wanted someone who would take their body seriously, work on the actual problem, and give them honest information about what’s going on and what to do about it.
The wrong-fit clients aren’t wrong. They’re just in the wrong room. And telling them that — kindly, directly, before anyone’s disappointed — is one of the most respectful things I can do. It respects their time, their money, and what they actually need.
What this tells you about the practice
If you’re reading this and thinking, “Good — I don’t want a therapist who adjusts to whatever the client wants,” then you’re probably the right fit. You want someone with a point of view. Someone who knows what they’re doing, does it well, and doesn’t water it down. Someone who will tell you the truth about what your body needs, even when the truth isn’t what you expected to hear.
That’s the practice. It’s not for everyone. It doesn’t have to be. But for the people it is for, it works.
Related reading: Deep tissue doesn’t mean deep pressure · How do you feel right now? · What to expect in your first 4–6 weeks